Reading all the posts, I see there is some conflicting opinions. Its very hard for someone to tell you what to do, as we cannot know all the elements of your situation.
Personally, I tend to reason: if you are not sure what to do, then do nothing yet.
May I suggest, however, that you start looking up topics about how to persuade and negociate.
for example
http://www.kent.ac.uk/careers/sk/persuading.htm
There must be loits of other interesting links. The above gives one or two techniques that you might be able to use. If you are gonig to be dfd, then take the time to give it your very best shot. You'll never convince the elders, its your wife that you wish to convince.
Trying to "softly softly " sow some seeds of doubt could be interesting, but also long. You need time to do that.
Is there anything that your wife has at least a little problem with in the borg? Could be a starting poin
Good luck with your cause outsmart....